Ben, Jerry, Life.

I'm sitting in the ER with a copy of the New York Times on my lap and a pint of Ben and Jerry's in my left hand. This place has a certain negative energy. I itch my skin again. Instead of feeling sorry for myself tonight, I think of my ex-boyfriend.

When I look at where I am, how I got here, and why, I am instantaneously humbled. On the way to the hospital, I scrounged for dimes and pennies to buy this pint while simultaneously praying to make it there. The gas in my tank is next to nonexistent. When I arrived, I found this disheveled magazine in the parking garage outside. I wiped the smudge off the front with my ragged old hoodie. It was the new edition. How thrilling.

That was before I made my way in here.... alone. I knew this would take a while.

I don't feel sorry for myself. I don't even cry. Instead, I realize how much of a bitch I was in my previous life for not recognizing the helplessness of someone who could identify a need and have no means to take care of it. A modern view of hell in terms of a love story. This is just another form of my penance.

I could not understand why he never had health insurance or full coverage on his ratty old truck. Why wouldn't he drive an hour to visit me? I complained constantly about being kept inside, hidden from the outside world. No dinner. No dates. Why wouldn't he take me anywhere?

Now, the only traces of my extravagant old life are found in the closet and behind the steering wheel. We are teammates fighting poverty and recovering addicts with different vices. We have become slaves to the corporate world... somehow united again in the midst of this hatred and division. My pride is melting like the ice cream in my left hand. I hope karma forgives me now. I don't want to learn these lessons again.

I'm sorry, Alex.

A little insight into my next big project...

Chapter 15

What was I thinking when I signed up for Earth Science this semester? I’ll tell you what I wasn’t—the nebular theory. I mean, how much vital information can my professor seriously pull out of these eight planets that he expects me to remember after the first exam. I understand that the Sun will eventually eat the Earth and convert everyone into well-done shish kabobs, but that’s not for another five billion years. All I can do to get myself through this information is tell myself this speculative, controversial bullshit will all be over soon so I can continue to avoid forming an opinion about religion and politics.

All I can think about while studying is the book by John Grady called Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus. If you’ve been on this earth for a while or know anything about Venus, you can probably recall a time when science-fiction writers referred to this planet as a lush, tropical oasis, much more beautiful than planet Earth and much more like paradise. However, what scientists found instead was a traditional view of hell.

I find this analogy to be a bit offensive while understanding that it may or may not be more accurate than I’m presently willing to admit. If men are from Mars, then why is Mars such a world of wonders? Why does Mars look more normal than Venus in comparison to Earth? Why is it more interesting? And why does every fucking astronaut want to go there?

One thing’s for certain—I’m no astronaut.

After realizing how grateful I am to have responded “garbage lady” to the proverbial childhood question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, I received a phone call from a friend of mine, Michael. A much needed distraction.

He's currently in love with Jen and she’s not interested anymore. For over a year, she developed and cultivated a strong interest in him while he was recovering from a gut-wrenching breakup. He was basically a zombie, taking prescription drugs for every ache and pain, and she tried to make him happy. Although it wasn’t love, I’ve never seen her like someone so much or try so hard to make someone okay. When she realized she couldn’t, she moved on and he suddenly became aware of how badly he wanted to be with her.

All I could do to help him was tell him my story about how ironic and idiotic it was that I spent four years of my life not actually loving the man I loved, and then realized how much I needed him when it was far too late.

I wished I could tell him that each story has a happy ending and that we all get exactly what we want. But instead, I told him truth—that we usually get what we need. Even though it doesn’t feel good and it often makes absolutely no sense, we evolve into beings that are capable of adaptation for survival and learn the vital lessons that most other people ignore in the process. Then, we survive after all the others die, and we get to see the most beautiful things in the world. We meet other survivors, make friends, share stories, and sometimes fall in love again. When we don’t fight the process, it eventually all makes sense. That’s when we derive the wisdom to decide what we really want and gain the freedom to choose it.

We just have to let go when time gives our teachers a big promotion or when it simply reassigns us.

Goodluck, Mike.

Unedited

Human nature is betrayal in some form. It’s ugly, but it’s also the very reason why people essentially choose a compatible, lifelong partner. This coveted union of “oh-so-holy” matrimony meets two basic human needs in one: sex and emotional stability. When combined, these emotions synthesize love. Someone can finally trust someone else. I get it.

However, the idea of killing two birds with one stone forces the independent thinker to become stoic toward love.

Society holds us to these standards. If you seek sex and emotional stability from one monogamous partner, you’re justified. But if you seek them separately, you aren’t. Simultaneously, you can be called a whore and a tease regardless of your gender. It’s like the mathematical formula for probability and statistics.

In relationships, people try to minimize costs, maximize rewards, and ensure equity. Essentially, economic principles apply to relationships: it’s a cost-benefit analysis. Furthermore, socially constructed and learned rules guide communication between partners. Uncertainty motivates communication and certainty reduces the motivation to communicate.

Therefore, love is more often cockamamie bullshit than unending bliss. Typically, a woman confuses affection with neediness or the desire to transform her partner while a man is on an emotional rollercoaster of giving love and then seeking independence. He retracts, she pursues, he comes back, she punishes him.

In addition to these games, romantic partners communicate how they see us and we filter their impressions into our own self-image. Because of this, their significance is imprinted on our personal experiences and the phenomena of self-esteem is constructed. Can we every truly get rid of an ex?

The point of view that humans are natural storytellers offers more proof that love is merely perception. Reality is simply material, external to the human mind and the same for everyone, when presented by a skilled storyteller.

Religion, family opinions, political justifications and societal implications cloud our perspectives and disable us from making the choices we need to pursue our own independence. Therefore, we mustn’t gain ideas from the world around us. Instead, we should pay special attention to the theories that revive our consciousness and shape our own visions of reality.

Maybe then will we realize that love and lust really aren’t so important.

-Swanky

The Human Condition

We are messy.

We always have some conflict between science and the supernatural, love and passion, and right and wrong.

As a society, we have formed the negative, but our ability to name it constitutes the basis of all our moral judgments. Because we measure ourselves by the negatives we have created, we allow guilt into our lives with a rule we made ourselves believe in.

For example, we think, “We should work out to be attractive,” but we simultaneously think, “It’s wrong to derive ourselves of pleasure.” Which “should” should we follow? Which “should not” should we give authority to?

We chronically suffer from the human condition.

We divide ourselves into social classes. Social hierarchy creates division. Division creates guilt. Guilt creates the need for identification. And the need for identification creates drama.

Guilt is the central motive for human action and communication. We continuously feel it and attempt to purge ourselves from the discomfort it causes. Think about the simple act of buying flowers for your significant other. Do you do it because you love her or because you haven’t been paying the relationship enough attention lately? If it’s because you love her, then why do you feel the need to perform such an action?

Compassion, esteem and love reflect awareness of division and a desire to transcend it. These motives are all driven by guilt. For synthesized comfort, we create rules and standards of perfection by which we measure our legitimacy. Then, we hate ourselves when we cannot obtain such unobtainable measures. How twisted is that?

Don’t fall prey to guilt. It isn't good for your complexion.

-Swanky

Morning Snack

We have the Modern Dilemma. This subject forms the major thematic focus for virtually all of the Modern Society. What is it? It’s the fear on the part of many that each of us, as individuals, are condemned to a life of alienation and isolation wherein we can never come to know another fellow human being fully and completely. That’s the problem: how to escape such a fate.

Nineteenth century German philosophers like Kant and Nietzsche held forth the idea that each person has a unique perception of reality—that we each see things in subtly different manners. The next part of the puzzle involves depth of self knowledge. Exactly how well do we know ourselves? Pretty well, I think most of us would say, but not completely, for we don’t know how we would react in any given unexpected situation until it’s over. That speaks volumes about the lack of depth that we have regarding self knowledge. So, this fact begs another question: if we don’t know ourselves completely, which we don’t, how can we ever know another person completely who, admittedly, doesn’t know him or herself completely? Voila—the Modern Dilemma!

Maybe we’re each a prisoner of our own unique and limited consciousnesses, so we should never expect to break out of our isolation and come to know another person fully. Most likely, it’s not going to happen. At least, for me it isn't.

A transient friend

At first glance, he seems merely playful and charming, although remarkable for his exquisite and unerring artistry and perfect decorum. He is a love poem on the carpe diem theme- seize the day, time is fleeting, make love now. But his range is much wider than sometimes recognized. He moves from the pastoral to the cynical, from an almost rococo elegance to coarse, even vulgar, epigrams, and from the didactic to the dramatic. He also derives mythic energy and power from certain recurring motifs in life.

One is metamorphosis, the transience of all natural things. Another is celebration, evoking the social, ritualistic, and even anthropological significances and energies contained in modern life.

He is classical, but also perennial in his ideals about the good life defined as clean wantonness. He activates love devoid of high passion; the pleasures of food, drink, and song; delight in the beauty of surfaces; and finally, the creation of music as a ballast against the ravages of time.

He seems almost oblivious to the catastrophes of eternal love lost, but celebrates the kind of life that was at the center of ancient wars between pride and prized possessions.

He is my best friend.

Midnight Masquerade

Let's address one of life’s overarching themes. The Battle of the Sexes. Unfortunately, this intense subject is undoubtedly introduced to us in our adolescence, and it continues all the way through our miserable adult lives where we can truly say man and woman have been bested. In any human relationship, there can be a potential, disruptive dynamic that can, and often does, threaten the idyllic peace and tranquility in which a couple attempts to endeavor.

However, the weapons at hand that might be utilized to try and settle this quandary are age old. Male authority, superior physical strength, and control of the purse strings are often pitted against feminine wiles, sexual allure, crocodile tears, and a gentle nature that demands a gentle response from a gentleman. Like I said, these tricks are age old.

Nevertheless, cultural values change over time. Therefore, some of these weapons are viewed in different ways, by different people, in different places, at different times. It’s largely up to couples, however prideful, to determine for themselves who wins what battle, as well as who, if anyone, wins the war outright.

Another baffling subject in love relationships concerns self-identity and other various facets that help create, maintain, and/or change our self image. Let’s start with this establishment: our place of birth, our gender, our physical appearance, our name, our siblings, our parents, our relatives, our friends, our abilities, and our accomplishments, as well as our experiences in larger social groups like schools, churches, teams, etc. These involvements have vital bearings upon not only how we view ourselves, but who we view ourselves as. Self identity, thus, is complex and multilayered. To make things even more complicated, our movement through society everyday is accompanied by our having to wear metaphorical masks as we move from playing one role to another, like a skilled actor playing several different roles in a dramatic production.

On any given day, we find ourselves playing child, sibling, parent, and relative, but that’s just a few of the basics. Think about it. You get up in the morning, get in your car, stop for a drive-through latte, drive to work, do what must be done, grab some lunch, and then head to your dentist appointment. On the way you’re pulled over by the policeman for not coming to a full stop at the last intersection. And so your day continues. Just in one example, you’ve played a family member, a customer, an employee, a customer again, a scofflaw, and a patient. On and on it goes. We play so many different roles so often that we don’t even think about it anymore. We just live like an actor who learned his part long, long ago. And that, dear friend, is one of life's major messages.

It goes further, though. We know who we are, right? We have a solid sense of self identity. The problem arising, though, concerns the accuracy of another person’s reading of who we are. Since we play so many roles, it would be easy for someone to see us in only one specific role and mistake us—our real selves—for the role we play. We, of course, don’t identify ourselves wholly by any, or at least by most of our roles. Thus, to be thought by someone to be a person whom you don’t identify with in your own mind is going to lead to a fiasco, right? Right.

This facet of mistaking a person’s true identity because the difficulty of seeing past the mask that’s been donned in the performance of a role is closely connected with another life theme: illusion versus reality. Not only can we be fooled by appearances and feelings, as in my case, but we can even go out of our way to create a willful blindness, to willingly embrace an illusion. For example, there are some things that we just don’t want to know about or believe. Many reports exist that tout the dangers of smoking, drinking, eating too many Big Macs, and having unprotected sex, yet millions of people indulge in these activities every single day. Why?

Some might have a death wish, but for most people, it’s because of willful blindness. Many people wrap themselves in the safe and secure illusion that nothing bad is going to come of this behavior. So how does this relate to the you? It all has to do with how you can be wrong in your perception of reality.

If we can make ourselves see things the way we’d like them to be, despite evidence to the contrary, we can construct our own private individual world—a world that only we can perceive, for it’s different in subtle or in overt ways from other people’s perceptions of reality. Yet, we insist that we know each other, despite the very complex dynamics that go into self identity and into the full make-up of a human being living the human experience.

Shakespeare perhaps said it best in his play, As You Like It: “All the world’s a stage, and we merely players on that stage.” Life demands that we assume roles; the challenge is to see accurately beneath the mask of another player, or to find a person who, for you, will willingly unmask so as to reveal his true identity. What makes the latter action so touching is the fact that our ego—where our self identity resides—is so fragile that we usually protect it to the death.

There’s no role in the human experience that puts forth more masks than dating or loving, of course. For therein, we’re always trying to put our best foot forward, to impress the object of desire in some way, and to appear to be someone that is worthy of that person’s affections. For one to remove the mask, then, can have dire results if the other party rejects him for the affection of another. The unmasked suitor suddenly feels betrayed, for the one for whom the mask was removed seemingly did not also remove his mask. They were never the person they pretended to be. Thus, we are introduced to the proverbial thin line between love and hate.

Good luck with that.

Swanky

Choose it.

I keep finding that life is full of serious moments that can either captivate or kill you. We choose to live, love, learn and seek God in the times that leave us breathless or empty. I am finding that most people fill their lives with some ultimate challenge to divert them from facing themselves or their inner happiness.

We will love ourselves, hate ourselves, talk bad about people, limit God, limit others, limit ourselves, and limit our happiness because we are afraid of abandoning controversy. We are truly a lost and desperate race, but it doesn’t even matter. We can be completely doomed, and choose happiness within that desperate time. The sun is always shining somewhere in the world. And we can distract ourselves from bitter emptiness, or we can turn around, look ourselves in the eyes, and face our inner turmoil with both pride and humility.

We choose to see life as beautiful when all of our hopes and dreams seem lost and limited.

I choose happiness. Here’s to making this one count.

-Swanky

Do It

I have established life as perplexing in the way it transforms me every single day. I find myself and my life completely unrecognizable at certain moments in time. Lately, I seem to be issuing statements of guilt into the Universe through my codependent tendencies. Paying the waiter an exorbitant tip to absolve the guilt of my past relationship, depriving myself of dessert with hope to stick it to self-consciousness, and maintaining painful relations with old friends to feel self-worth are a few examples of how my life is absolutely controlled by guilt.

The way I’ve lived has led me form opinions about myself and the world around me. I can share my heart because I have identified with it and located it for the very first time in my life. I believe that there is no definite starting date for codependency. In fact, the evolution began when I first suppressed the hollow halls of my empty life and began to burden myself with the woes of others to detract from my immediate lack of self-worth.

Throughout my travels, however, I am learning to speak to myself about coping and beginning to have faith about moving forward. I am finally learning to address myself and my needs… To establish exactly who I am and what I want in this life.

As volatile people, we cannot feel selfish or driven by fear or shame when we make choices regarding our needs and desires. We must learn to live in harmony with ourselves and establish exactly what we want and need. So tonight, I ask you… Who are you and what do you want?

Let’s think on good things and send positive energy to tomorrow.

Always here,

Swanky

Air Fresh, So Clean

I can’t imagine a place more ethereal than Paris. Even the air here is androgynous, and I’m not including the relentless fashion sense I breathe daily in the streets and on the metro. During my stay at Jean Monnet, I have seen an eclectic range of wardrobe separates, all blended together to create a peculiar couture-ish look that absolutely works.

In Paris, women depend on their bodies. They have an understated edge of masculinity that defies the delicacy of their appearance. I have seen structured boyfriend jackets, flowing teacup skirts, and colored Mary Jane’s. I have seen wild hair, jagged scarves, boyfriend jeans, and vintage accessories.

It’s both surprising and refreshing to encounter a woman who is unconcerned with the appearance of her face, but absolutely aware of her body and the organic nature of its structure. In Paris, fashion is fashion. It’s about clothes, nothing more or less.

No one cares about makeup or matching in Paris. In fact, the more layers and textures, the better. No one ever wears tennis shoes, t-shirts, or flip-flops in Paris. In fact, no one wears sloppy denim or bright colors either.

In Paris, it’s easy to spot the American. Appropriately, these particular foreigners are always dressed in sloppy graphic tees, unfitted jeans, and the infamous Coach purse/tacky Oakley sunglasses or a face full of eyeliner.

In the city, I have found well-constructed clothing and shoes at prices ranging from $15-15,000 Euros. And although the handbags and briefcases are mostly designer, locals here carry bags that are not burdened by labels. For example, I have seen very limited monogramming. Even the children are well dressed.

The best thing about Parisian fashion is that there are no cultural labels and no limits when it comes to wardrobe.

Go see for yourself.

Swanky

Patricia Jardin's Moelleux au Chocolat (Chocolate Mousse) Recipe

Don't fret about your coveted summer silhouette. This recipe is easy, delightful and can be made as light as you like..

Ingredients:
1.) 6 egg whites
2.) 3 egg yolks
3.) 1/2-1 stick butter (depending on how you like it)
4.) 4 tablespoons sugar (or more, depending on how you like it)
5.) 1 large dark chocolate bar (200g)

Mix egg yolks, butter, sugar, and dark chocolate over low heat until it is completely melted. Beat the egg whites on high until they form into thick, frothy peaks. Then, pour chocolate mixture into frothy eggs and turn gently until mixture is blended evenly.

DO NOT STIR THE CHOCOLATE DIRECTLY INTO THE EGG MIXTURE. Instead, gently rotate the spoon in horizontal motions until the ingredients are fully blended.

Refrigerate 3-4 hours.

Enjoy.

Straight to you from France's magical countryside.

-Swanky

Bensimon...The Sneaker of France

Le Tennis Lacets.

The "it" sneaker of France.

To order in America, you can find these sweet chaussures at Piperlime.com with free shipping and the best possible prices.

I have seen variations of these sneakers throughout Paris, in Jouars-Pontchartrain, and straight down to the heart of Villiers-Saint-Frederic.

My street-chic Parisian friend, Perline Giraudo, recommended these shoes to me after watching me mend blister after blister following our daily excursions. Fortunately, these city saavy kicks are eco-friendly and also available for men.


Bon voyage. Happy shopping.

Swanky

Villiere-Saint-Frederic

I feel like I am living in an alternate world and I never want to leave this magical place. I am supposed to be getting ready to go out shopping, but I cannot compose myself. I just got back from a long run with Perline's mother.

I saw the most beautiful yellow, white and purple flowers on our journey around the outskirts of town. We ran through fields of green with the sweet smell of fresh wheat growing in the gorgeous breeze. I saw so much on our run. There were gorgeous horses of black, white, and brown near a villa where people vacation and a gypsy that had set up camp nearby. We jogged through an uphill trail in the woods and, in broken English, she named and described each flower we saw, told me which poisonous ones to stay away from, and then said, "You must always take care.".

And then there is me, with my American Nike's and grey Yoga leggings trying to soak it all in. I was thinking "Here I am in a town I have never heard of, running next to a woman whose name I cannot even remember, seeing the most gorgeous things in all of my life."

These people are "tres enchante."

The way they do things here is so refreshing. This tiny little house cost 300,000 euros, and they wash their clothes entirely by hand. In America, this would be absurd. But it actually makes perfect sense... They spend time every day together preparing meals or washing clothes and they get to wake up to see the most beautiful things in all the world.

Perline's mother has her very own garden where she grows yellow prunes, walnuts, and mint leaves to make the most wonderful jam and juice. I hope she will send her recipes with me before I leave, although I am afraid they may be too personal for her to share.

In this house, they always sit down together and have meals. This morning, for example, they set the table and we had hot tea with milk, fresh mango juice, and brioche with nutella and homemade jam. They always drink more than they eat here.

It's the small things about France that I really appreciate. Like the smells of fresh purple Freesia and scattered red poppies on the sidewalk, the chat noir (black cat) trotting beside me as I walk to the Patisserie, the double kisses on the face in the morning when I first wake up, the young boys singing on the sidewalk, and the church bells ringing in the distance to remind me that time is passing much too quickly. I'm not ready to return.

J'adore Villiers-Saint-Frederic.

-Swanky

I die.

If you're looking for a perfect Mother's day gift, check out this this amazing little love potion. The texture of this body polish is delightfully rosy and the hue is almost peachy. Turkish roses, cocoa butter, almond oil, and jasmine are all whipped up in this little pot. Smooth it all over in the shower for delightfully fragrant skin and grab another one for Mom. For $30, you'll be impressed by the results of this product.

Happy shopping.

-Swanky

P.S. Lush also has many other great, pre-wrapped gift ideas for Mom. There is one gift-set that actually includes this product.

Tastier Than a Jelly Donut

So, basically... I need these.

Go to www.stevemadden.com for prices and more information.

-Swanky

On a Mission...

J'adore cette jupe.

I feel love for this outfit. But I'm short about $300?

Stay tuned as I search for options to create this look for less. I'm hoping I can sport this look during my summer in Paris.

-Swanky

P.S. I had a brief yet impacting discussion with an inflated Nashville fashion editor on the phone yesterday. If success hits your life, don't ever forget who you are now. We all need deodorant and dental floss.

How To Get A Flawless Face

I've been asked by several friends to post my skin secrets. But before I bear all, I want you to know that this piece is about getting flawless skin. It isn’t a list of frenzied makeup tips to help you hide behind cakey cosmetics. Posers, step off.

As most of my close friends and family know, skincare and anti-aging are extremely important to me. After stumbling upon a strange blotch in my scalp at age 16, Melanoma became a reality in my life. Ever since, I’ve been on a journey to correct the irreversible damage caused from overexposure.

Which brings us to secret # 1: Bye, Bye Sunlight.

The concept of avoiding the sun may not sound new to you, but I assure you, it's the most important step if you want to obtain a flawless face. Take a trip to your local dermatology clinic and get under the skin x-ray if you don’t believe me. You'll be shocked to see how severely UVA and UVB rays damage the cells that dictate your complexion.

There is no excuse for turning your face into leather. Going outside is inevitable, but it's important to prepare properly. Wear a hat, apply a ridiculous amount of SPF to your face and body, and wear Chap Stick with a strong protectant.

Also, remember that certain UV rays can even affect you during overcast. Because of this, I use 'Out Smart' by Origins every single day. It's a mild daily moisturizer with 25 SPF and titanium dioxide to deflect UVA and UVB rays. It also gives my skin a beautiful finish that makes me never want to wear makeup again. For brighter days, I combine this moisturizer with a higher SPF to ensure ultimate sun protection.

If you must wear makeup, make sure to buy a foundation or tinted moisturizer that contains at least 25 SPF. I use Laura Mercier’s oil free tinted moisturizer when I’m craving some coverage. It’s amazing and I never feel like I’m clogging my pores when I wear it all day long.

Secret # 2: Become a product junkie.

I’m not ashamed to say that I have nearly 22 different product labels on my counter right now. I experiment with different lines on a daily basis, and all of my purchases have some kind of anti-aging and/or clarifying property. If something looks legit, buy it. Especially if it boasts collagen enhancers or sun protection.

Step 3: Get a skincare regime and stick with it.

Every morning, I wake up and wash my face with Cornelia Botanical Balancing Cleanser or an anti-aging cleanser called Elastology by Clientele. I alternate because the balancing cleanser is clarifying and helps dispel obvious blemishes while the anti-aging cleanser helps firm and enhance the appearance of my complexion.

If it's a Saturday or Sunday morning, I'll mash up one avocado, one banana and 2 tablespoons of honey and apply it to my face and neck as a mask. I wouldn’t recommend doing this more than twice a month because it is extremely hydrating and can clog the pores if overdone.

At night, things get a bit more serious in my bedroom. To remove all makeup (including eye), I apply Pond's classic cold cream to my face and remove it 30 seconds later with a warm cloth. I've experimented with many high end products and this one is by far my favorite.

Next, I wash my face with a bar of unscented dove soap and gently pat dry. Then, I apply a skin rejuvenating treatment to my face by Origins called "Make A Difference.” After, I apply a firming eye cream with Rhodiola called 'Youthtopia.'

I read about this eye cream in Elle magazine last summer and it has definitely changed my life. The revolutionary rhodiola extract helps stimulate the thin region surrounding the eye to promote firming. This product even helps with puffiness and dark circles.

Right before I go to sleep, I apply a collagen lip treatment called "Cellular Performance" by Kanebo to my "O zone." This is the lips and surrounding region above the chin and directly under the nose. Even Angelina Jolie, who claims to use this product daily, boasts about its effectiveness.

Side note: Make sure to aim all massaging motions toward the center of the face and opposite gravity. You don’t want to abuse the elasticity in your face by pulling out or downward.

Secret # 4: Hydrate, but don't over hydrate.

Yes, moisturizer is both amazing and necessary, but a little goes a long way. More is less, ladies. And I’m not talking about pimples.

Step 5: Live a healthy lifestyle.

If you want to get flawless skin, you have to improve your diet and your lifestyle. There is no way around it. I’m talking fruits, vegetables, exercise, water, eight hours of rest, limited alcohol, no fast food, and absolutely no smoking. Bottom line, you get out what you put in. It’s unrealistic to think you can go around dumping toxins into your body and stay gorgeous.

Secret # 6: Stay happy.

Depression, heartbreak, anger and anxiety can ruin your complexion and even cause premature aging. Do a yoga video if you feel stressed, moody or emotional. Take Pilates or kickboxing if you feeling angry or irrational. If you can target your junk on something outside yourself, you can keep it away from your complexion.

Step # 7: Chill out! You're gorgeous.

Stop freaking out about wearing makeup 24-7. If you keep clogging your pores with impenetrable foundation, how can you expect to be flawless?

Like I said earlier, you get out what you put in, or in this case, what you put on. Stop painting your face and going out every night. If you’re drinking fat girl drinks at the bar, hitting up fast food joints on the way home, and falling asleep at four in the morning with a face full of makeup, you’ll wake up wrinkled and pimply with an unforgivable beer belly.

You can be gorgeous if you let yourself go… well, kind of.

-Swanky

Liberty of London for Target

If you aren't quite in the mood for Spring, take a drive to Mandeville and check out the Liberty of London collection for Target. From stationary to gardening tools, these floral patterns take you places. And if that isn't enough, get a whiff of the sugared grapefruit candle... You'll be begging to take this one home.

Even the kids clothes are incredible: smocked rompers for girls and adorable prints for boys. And the housewares? Wow!! I saw plates, serving platters, and pillows in richly-colored floral prints. There is even an adorable umbrella with matching rainboots. But the best bit, in my opinion, is the bike. I might actually buy one.

But here's what's more important: the fabric quality isn't too bad. This was hard for me to comprehend because Liberty of London fabric is generally expensive: usually upward of $50 a yard at retail and sometimes significantly more.

However, because Target buys in bulk, things are affordable. Yes, these are Liberty prints on non-Liberty fabric, which explains the low prices and cuteness factor. Regardless, it looks good.

If you aren't familiar with this line, Liberty of London is a relatively new luxury brand that draws on the heritage of Liberty, a personal business started by Arthur Lasenby Liberty in 1843. Liberty was a visionary who believed he could change the look of homewares and fashion. He was a revolutionary in his time and his line prevailed through the 1920's until post-war 1950's.

The primary Liberty of London boutique is currently located in London on Regent Street. The line started in 2008 and has since been premiered in major fashion magazines around the globe. The patterns and aesthetics of this line draw on Art Nouveau and other Eastern influences. Yes, this line is designer and items generally retail at prices upward of $200.

That's what's so exciting about this temporary partnership with Target.

Since most of the clothing is 100% cotton, there isn’t an obvious cheapness factor. And while I haven’t had horrible luck with Target collabs in the past, it’s common knowledge that they aren’t always as stunning as they appear in the look book. This time around, you’ll be happy you sought it out.

Happy Spring, happy hunting.

-Swanky

Celebrate Easter with a Delicious Bath Cocktail...

I stumbled upon two amazing feel good's as I roamed the streets of the French Quarter this weekend. As I made my way past the bustling streetcars to the pralines at Southern Candymakers, I stumbled upon the sweetest little shop buried in a hole at the corner of Decatur. It's called Lush Cosmetics.

When I entered the little store, there was something almost spiritual about the atmosphere. It was warm and luxurious and the rich aroma was more than inviting. After playing with dream cream and bathing in lemon butter, I was in love.

And then I reached the bath bombs and bubble bars.

There was a heavenly array of choices before me as I approached the bath bar. Scents of avocado and rose oil overwhelmed me while benefits of mood enhancers and mineral water demanded my attention.

After much thought and indecision, I finally chose the Marzibain Bubble Bar and the detoxifying Sicilian Bath Bomb to compose my bath cocktail.

When I arrived home, I rushed to the bathroom in a fury to crumble my bubble bar beneath warm, running water. Then, I chunked the bomb into my bathtub and witnessed the biggest alka-seltzer explosion of my life.

The Marzibain bubble bar smelled of creamy almond icing and created the whitest, sweetest, fluffiest bubbles. Simultaneously, the Sicilian bath bomb released fresh scents of mandarin and neroli while tangerine oils took over my bath water.

I felt like I was eating marzipan while basking in the warm Italian sun and swimming in marshmallows all at the same time.

Who knew taking a bath could be so much fun?

-Swanky

P.S. Happy Easter.

Simple Spring Makeup Additions

Play up your neutral palette with a few simple products to look fresh and breezy this Spring.

A few of my favorites:
Leather & Lace eyeshadow duo by Sonia Kashuk for Target
Nude Lip Crayon by Sonia Kashuk for Target
Cream Colour Highlighter in Shell by MAC
Barefoot in Barcelona nail polish by O.P.I.

-Swanky

Way Better than Naked

There is something indubitably American about (a) denim mini skirts and (b) letting it all hang out. So why don't we get a little less obvious about bearing it all this season? Ladies, go nude.

From the Runway to the Red Carpet, designers and celebrities have amplified the most inoffensive neutrals. Moguls like Kate Bosworth, Caroline Sieber, Kate Moss and Katy Perry have been spotted in nothing but nude from London to Los Angeles.

Designers like Christian Louboutin, Diane von Furstenburg, Valentino, Ralph Lauren and Zac Posen are a few of the leading forces to infuse this color in their couture and ready-to-wear collections for Spring 2010. However, for the budgeted businesswoman, there are a few amiable alternatives to ease the apprehension of your checkbook.

In the world of retail, nudes are being sported from Target to Topshop and anywhere in between. A few of my favorite, affordable pieces are the 'Kerry' dress by Yuki at Topshop, the 'Buff Lieutenant' jacket by J. Crew, and the Yuki Kimono top by Elizabeth and James.

To accessorize your neutrals, don a classic handbag in blush or cream. If you aren't a believer in studs, check out the Large Single, Dancer, or Jen in taupe by Marc Jacobs. If you are, try on the Melvin in Stone Calf Leather by Anya Hindmarch for size. A more affordable alternative is the signature Nikki in cream by up-and-coming designer, Rebecca Minkoff.

As confirmed in the April issue of Vogue, it is acceptable-and even fashionable-to wear several different shades of nude at one time. It doesn't even matter if your neutral of choice matches or clashes with the tone of your skin.

To complete this outfit, pair it with a pop of memorable lipstick or gloss. The best of the best are 'Jungle Red' by Nars, 'Just Bitten' by Hot Pants, and 'Good to Go' by Benefit for a softer appearance.

To those of you who are still matching shoes to handbag and shunning light colors after labor day, I don't know how else to help you.

Who makes these rules, anyway?

-Swanky

Handbags and Beauty Products can be found at Sephora and Kiki in Perkins Rowe.